For Sirius Satellite Radio personality Shanae Hall, becoming a football wife to former Atlanta Falcons safety Cory Hall wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. After her marriage ended with her high school sweetheart, and she returned to the dating world, she felt it her responsibility to school the ladies on things they were doing wrong.
Hall and her mother, and co-author, Rhonda Frost, decided that Steve Harvey's New York Times best-seller 'Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man' failed to give women the real steps to getting a man. So, the duo put their heads together and came up with 'Why Do I Have To Think Like A Man,' which comes complete with Harvey's friend Cedric the Entertainer's stamp of approval.
Shanae Hall sat down with BlackVoices.com to discuss her Farrah Gray Publishing book and fills us in on why black women need to use their goodies properly.
Excerpts from the interview are below.
BlackVoices.com: Why did you and your mother decide on a title that is a play on Steve Harvey's New York Times best-seller?
Shanae Hall: My mom called me and said Steve Harvey wrote a book and you have to go get it. We were in the process of writing our book, and I read his book and thought, 'Really, so now I have to think like a man to get a man? Really is that what they were doing in the 20s, 30s and 40s, thinking like men?' I think there is some truth to [our playing off of his title for attention] because it was so catchy. It's no difference to a song that comes out and someone does a remix. We felt like a woman's voice needed to be heard and it did make it easy for people to know it's a response to Steve's book.
BV: What was the one thing in Steve's book that you felt was just sending women the wrong message?
SH: The comment that he made when he said women are the primary reason that men cheat. I felt like he completely disowned the fact that as humans we have moral obligations to our spouses and you can't blame all on Tiger Woods' groupies for Tiger Woods sleeping with everyone. He wanted to. That was one of the things that I adamantly disagreed with because it sends women the wrong message.
BV: How'd you get Cedric the Entertainer to co-sign your book?
SH: I met Cedric on a video set and we became really cool. I mentioned the book and asked him would he endorse it and he endorsed it in five minutes.I just talked to Ced and I told him, 'I take it Steve is not too angry because he has to have seen the book by now,' and Ced said, "Steve might even endorse your book because as long as you're not attacking his character, you're just making comments on his philosophy. Steve's not going to have a problem with that kind of thing.'
BV: Weren't you concerned that people wouldn't take your advice seriously because you aren't married anymore? You're single still after all.
SH: Don't judge the person like if you're married then this is good. That's a societal standard that is failing us. Elin Woods was married, what was that getting her? Shanae Hall was married, what did that get me? Steve Harvey was married three times, what has that gotten him? He can say, 'I'm in marital bliss now,' but he probably said that with every single wife. So, it's not about necessarily being married. It's about achieving the greatest relationship that you can achieve and that it works for you. I disagree with the concept of if you're married, you're happy.
BV: With your past relationship, how was that being married to a football player? You'd lead us to believe it isn't as great as it is cracked up to be.
SH: I always go back to I met him in high school. He was just Cory to me. He wasn't Cory Hall, the third round draft pick. He wasn't any of that, he was just Cory, my kids' father. I've seen some crazy things with women trying to get his attention and men feel like they are deserving of a certain level of hierarchy in your household when it's like once upon a time you worked at Chevron and I worked at Macys and we paid the $400 rent. At the end of the relationship, he put his hands on me and that was enough for me. There are some women who stay and endure because of the house and the cars, but for me I can't play detective 24/7.
BV: One of the big take-aways from the book is the chapter 'Goodies Have Power, So Use Them Wisely.' Explain why that message is so important.
SH: Men, who are going out of their way to talk to you,aren't chasing you down because they want to be your friend. What you have can make Adam eat an apple off the tree even though God said don't do it, why would you give it away for free? I'm not talking dollar figures, but he didn't have to take you a date, he didn't have to call you two times a day or do anything? He just showed up. Why? I could be crazy, if you have so much power and control, why give it away? We're setting ourselves up for failure if we don't acknowledge this is what he wants and I have to make him earn it.