Nika C. Beamon, a news writer-producer, presents interviews with 21 successful black women who are enjoying the single life in 'I Didn't Work This Hard Just To Get Married: Successful Single Black Women Speak Out.'

Beamon hits the right notes in this fast-read, exploring single-motherhood, career-versus-marriage and divorce. She examines the themes through interviews with successful black women such as Kim Coles, the actress; Deborah Gregory, the Hollywood writer; and Effie Brown, the movie producer.

She answers some questions for BV Bookshelf, including ridiculous claims that black women are overweight and angry, which is why so many are single.

Nika C. Beamon: I was tired of relationship books offering advice to women on how to find a man without addressing the notion that not having a man isn't a death sentence. You won't be a spinster, lonely or pathetic. You can be alone and happy. What books don't tell you is that if you desperately search for a man, you are likely to find the wrong one.

BV: Are you married? If so, how long were you single? Was it tough finding the right mate? What's your advice?

NCB: People always ask if I am married and assume if I am not, it's because no one has asked or I am a lesbian, or a feminist who isn't interested in marriage.

I am single, but I've been in a relationship for eight years. Like most women, I've spent most of my adult life in and out of relationships; I'm a serial monogamist, which has its upside (like constant companionship) but I've learned the most about myself and what I want from someone else during my single periods.

On another note, contrary to what a lot of men have said about black women over 30, we aren't all angry and fat, with a lot of kids. Some of us have just taken the time to become comfortable in our skin.

In terms of advice:

1) Don't role-play. Be yourself and not who you think someone wants you to be. Eventually you will stop playing the role and your partner will become disappointed and bail on you.

2) Know yourself so that you know what you will and will not stand for.

3) If you can stand someone on his or her worst day, then you have half a shot at making the relationship work.

4) Get to know, respect and work with your partner so that you can establish a connection.

BV: Aren't black women single women because we supposedly bring a bunch of swivel neck drama? Just kidding! That is the stereotype out there. Look at all of the professional men with, um, other races. Why is that?

NCB: To be truthful, some black women are angry [about that] but that's not true of the women in my book; they aren't bitter about their lives or angry with black men. But, would they be wrong to be upset about the decline of the black family?

Traditionally men propose to women. So if black women are single, it's because men seemingly show no interest in getting married [to them]. Or, it's like one of the chapters in my book describes, men want a woman to bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan and never let him forget he's a man. Most black women think we've evolved pass old-fashioned gender roles, which we haven't.

BV: Where did that crazy stereotype come from? And why are we portrayed as such in Hollywood by other black no less?

NCB: As far as the angry black female stereotype, it continues to be perpetuated today with great success in movies, television shows, etc. How it began isn't important really, it's more about when it's going to end. It hurts both men and women.

As a result, black men are missing out on quality women because they think successful women don't want them if they don't have the same level of education or make the same amount of money. The reality is most women just want a guy who gets them.