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Actor, comedian and radio-show host Steve Harvey was inspired to write his latest book, 'Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment' following an experience with his daughter's boyfriend.
Harvey and his father-in-law were in the kitchen making a sandwich when the older man cornered the suitor, who was waiting for Harvey's daughter. Harvey's father-in-law asked the boyfriend what his intentions were for his granddaughter, and the young man said that he didn't have any plans. He said that they were "just kicking it."
"When I heard that, I had to stop making my sandwich and that's when I got involved," said Harvey.
"Now I'm 50, and my father-in-law is 70, and we both knew exactly what he meant when he said he didn't have a plan for my daughter. So I said to him, 'Cool, let me bring my daughter down and let's tell her that y'all are just kicking it and see if she wants to participate in the let's-kick-it program.'
Mel B Pictures
In this photo provided by Kraft Foods, Spice Girl "Mel B" poses for a photo wearing a T-shirt she designed based on the classic pink ribbon used for breast cancer awareness, after a fashion show and launch of "Pose for the Cure" web site to help Kraft Foods raise money for the 'Susan G. Komen for the Cure' fight against breast cancer in New York, Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2008. The shirt is for sale on the web site and the net proceeds will benefit the foundation. (AP Photo/Kraft Foods, Ray Stubblebine) **NO SALES**
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In this photo provided by Kraft Foods, Spice Girl "Mel B" poses for a photo wearing a T-shirt she designed based on the classic pink ribbon used for breast cancer awareness, after a fashion show and launch of "Pose for the Cure" web site to help Kraft Foods raise money for the 'Susan G. Komen for the Cure' fight against breast cancer in New York, Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2008. The shirt is for sale on the web site and the net proceeds will benefit the foundation. (AP Photo/Kraft Foods, Ray Stubblebine) **NO SALES**
AP
In this undated image released by Oxfam Tuesday Sept. 23, 2008, British singer Mel B participates in the 'In My Name' global campaign calling for action against poverty and demanding world leaders keep their promises on millennium development goals. (AP Photo/Oxfam, HO) ** NO SALES **
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In this photo provided by Kraft Foods, Spice Girl Mel B, left, serves as the emcee at a fashion show and launch of "Pose for the Cure" web site to help Kraft Foods raise money for the 'Susan G. Komen for the Cure' fight against breast cancer in New York, Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2008. Mel B wears a T-shirt she designed based on the classic pink ribbon used for breast cancer awareness. The shirt is for sale on the web site and the net proceeds will benefit the foundation. The woman at right is unidentified. (AP Photo/Kraft Foods, Ray Stubblebine) **NO SALES**
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: TV personality and designer Khloe Kardashian and Olympic-level swimmer and model Amanda Beard (R) pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Ultimo Scottish designer lingerie brand founder Michelle Mone (L) and pop singer Melanie Brown pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown poses backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown and Olympic-level swimmer and model Amanda Beard (R) pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown and singer Aubrey O'Day (R) poses backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown, Olympic-level swimmer and model Amanda Beard, singer Aubrey O'Day and TV personality and designer Khloe Kardashian pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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When my daughter came down, we told her, and she wasn't with his program." Harvey's daughter urged him to write a book. She said she had no idea she could ask the man she was dating what his plans were, and Harvey broke it all down. "A woman has a right to know what a man's plan is for her," Harvey said. "If the plan he has with you doesn't match up with the plan you have for yourself, you need to make some changes. Trust me, every man who meets you has a plan. Even that brother in church who comes up to you saying, 'Praise the Lord!' has a plan for you. You need to ask him what that plan is."
In his book, Harvey refers to his own real-life experiences, dropping science on everything from how to spot a mama's boy and what, if anything, you can do about it to how to introduce your kids to that new man in your life (and what your kids will tell you about him, which you should listen to). There are also five questions every woman should ask a man to determine how serious he is about her. But more important, Harvey translates for women what men say versus what they really mean.
"Men and women speak a different language," said Harvey. "I just help decode what men are saying so women can understand it."
'Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man' is an extension of a segment from the nationally syndicated 'Steve Harvey Morning Show' called 'Strawberry Letter,' in which Harvey and co-host Shirley Strawberry give advice to people who write in.
"Between 80 and 90 percent of the letters we get are from women and almost all have something to with a man," he said. "So in my book, I took all of the friendships I have with men -- actors, singers, rappers, TV producers, guys I used to work with in factory assembly lines, men that are CEOs and men that are cons (I have friends in every walk of life) -- and I talk about those experiences. Men, I don't care where they come from, pretty much think the same."
Written in the very frank, relatable, regular-guy style that we've come to know from one of the Original Kings of Comedy, this book is serious business. Publishers wanted something more comedy oriented, but Harvey demanded to write a book to help make a difference and improve people's lives. Happily married to wife Marjorie, Harvey has been committed over the last few years to living his best life. He dropped some pounds and has been working out and eating right.
He is even promoting a George Foreman grill called the Steve Harvey G-Broil (steveharveygrill.com). And with his many blessings, he feels he has to give back. Harvey starts everyday on his radio talking about God and ends it with an inspirational message. This book is an extension of his ministry.
"I wanted to write this book to empower women," said Harvey, who collaborated with writer Denene Milner. "It was very therapeutic for me."
2008 Deaths
Odetta Holmes
"The Voice of the Civil Rights Movement" was a singer, actress, guitarist, songwriter and activist.
December 31 1930 - December 2 2008.
Ray Tamarra , Getty
Bernie Mac
Comedian, Actor
Oct. 5, 1957 - Aug. 9, 2008.
AP
Isaac Hayes
Singer, songwriter, record producer, composer and actor.
August 20, 1942 - August 10, 2008
Reuters
Miriam Makeba, "Mama Africa"
South African folk singer and anti-apartheid activist.
March 4, 1932 - November 10, 2008.
Reuters
Jennifer Hudson's 57-year-old mother, Darnell Donerson, brother, Jason, and 7-year-old nephew, Julian King, were killed in 2008.
AP
Shakir Stewart
The Island Def Jam executive who became head of the legendary rap label following Jay-Z's departure, killed himself on Nov. 1. He was 34 years old.
Getty
George Carlin
Stand-up comedian, actor and author.
May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008
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Madelyn Dunham
Barack Obama's grandmother
October 26, 1922 - Nov 3, 2008.
Getty Images
Levi Stubbs
Oct. 17: The iconic lead singer, second from left, who gave voice to Four Tops classics like "Reach Out I'll Be There" and "Baby I Need Your Loving" died at 72 from complications of cancer and a stroke. Abdul Fakir, far left, is now the sole living member of the original quartet.
Corbis
Dee Dee Warwick
Oct. 18: The soul songstress died after months of declining health. Warwick, the sister of soul legend Dionne, also achieved a great deal of success, both as a solo artist as well as with her sister.
Corbis
Comments: (77)
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By: Cheryl on 2/16/2009 5:34AM
If someone can't afford the book, how about the library. I wouldn't say Steve Harvey has all the answers, but what he is saying makes a lot of sense to me. If you think that most women(of any race) don't need advice on the man's point of view, then think again. There are a lot of bad relationships out there and many young women have not seen any good relations for examples. I for one wish I would have known some of this information before I was married. I am glad my daughter has read the book.
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By: Mr Mc on 2/18/2009 8:19PM
Mr Harvey Mr Harvey Please Know This One thing, you can tell them as much as you like,but brother, you and I know, you cannot and I repeat, You cannot corner a true player(brother)with real Game. The name of the Game is to Improvise,we can see it coming a mile away and then we adapt to the situation you know 90 days ain't no time when brothers have that something on the side. We will wait and then go for the kill once caught in the web of Deceit its over tell them that please
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By: Mellinese Jack on 2/22/2009 5:49PM
I think Steve Harvey is a very wise, sexy, and intellingent man to be open-minded about empowering women.
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By: Sabria Epps on 2/28/2009 3:23PM
I was in the same elementary school classroom as Broderick Harvey. Since I was overseas (onactive duty with the Air Force) when he became popular, it took some time for me to lay my eyes on him and realize exactly who he was. I have supported his efforts and followed his career (somewhat) ever since. I will buy this book for my youngest teen daughter. The book's too late for me. She will listen to what he says, although it echoes what I've advised all along.
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By: Just Me in SC! on 3/04/2009 6:39AM
The book is definitely clear and to the point. For the woman who is walking around in lala land about men and their motives, please get the book. It is designed to clear the air about "men are dogs" and provide an understanding that they simply have their motives; women and daughters, we need to know and accept them! The book didn't present anything new but honestly forced me to accept that it is what it is. The things we know from women's intuition is really the truth. To those of you who are still praying and beliveing God that that man is the one and he will marry you - get the book! I am not a big fan of Steve Harvey and simply see him as a man who more than likely misused a lot of women and has now "come to the light". Isn't that all of us. We want to prevent our children from doing what we did or suffering from what we suffered. He is fortunate that his latter years are better than his former (his relationship with his wife appears to be good). The book is $12.88 at Sam's Club; read it, change, share it with your daughter(s), and pass it on to a friend.
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By: Ryan on 4/21/2009 1:33PM
I have not read his book yet. but I'm planning on reading it as part of a book group with friends. I have seen Harvey on TV, heard him on the radio, and doing comedy. For the most part he's positive, but I did see him at the Black journalist convention in Las Vegas a couple of years ago, and he was all over actress Victoria Rowell. They were both representing Disney doing work for kids, but his actions on stage to her was demeaning, and disrespectful. I'll keep an open mind as I'm reading this book, but he is not all that when it comes to treating black women as queens.
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By: shurline perry on 4/23/2009 9:49PM
someone told me about this book just today at work and i promise myself that i will get it and most of all share it with the sisters at church.wow this sounds intresting!!!!
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