Actor, comedian and radio-show host Steve Harvey was inspired to write his latest book, 'Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment' following an experience with his daughter's boyfriend.
Harvey and his father-in-law were in the kitchen making a sandwich when the older man cornered the suitor, who was waiting for Harvey's daughter. Harvey's father-in-law asked the boyfriend what his intentions were for his granddaughter, and the young man said that he didn't have any plans. He said that they were "just kicking it."
"When I heard that, I had to stop making my sandwich and that's when I got involved," said Harvey.
"Now I'm 50, and my father-in-law is 70, and we both knew exactly what he meant when he said he didn't have a plan for my daughter. So I said to him, 'Cool, let me bring my daughter down and let's tell her that y'all are just kicking it and see if she wants to participate in the let's-kick-it program.'
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In this photo provided by Kraft Foods, Spice Girl "Mel B" poses for a photo wearing a T-shirt she designed based on the classic pink ribbon used for breast cancer awareness, after a fashion show and launch of "Pose for the Cure" web site to help Kraft Foods raise money for the 'Susan G. Komen for the Cure' fight against breast cancer in New York, Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2008. The shirt is for sale on the web site and the net proceeds will benefit the foundation. (AP Photo/Kraft Foods, Ray Stubblebine) **NO SALES**
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In this photo provided by Kraft Foods, Spice Girl "Mel B" poses for a photo wearing a T-shirt she designed based on the classic pink ribbon used for breast cancer awareness, after a fashion show and launch of "Pose for the Cure" web site to help Kraft Foods raise money for the 'Susan G. Komen for the Cure' fight against breast cancer in New York, Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2008. The shirt is for sale on the web site and the net proceeds will benefit the foundation. (AP Photo/Kraft Foods, Ray Stubblebine) **NO SALES**
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In this undated image released by Oxfam Tuesday Sept. 23, 2008, British singer Mel B participates in the 'In My Name' global campaign calling for action against poverty and demanding world leaders keep their promises on millennium development goals. (AP Photo/Oxfam, HO) ** NO SALES **
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In this photo provided by Kraft Foods, Spice Girl Mel B, left, serves as the emcee at a fashion show and launch of "Pose for the Cure" web site to help Kraft Foods raise money for the 'Susan G. Komen for the Cure' fight against breast cancer in New York, Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2008. Mel B wears a T-shirt she designed based on the classic pink ribbon used for breast cancer awareness. The shirt is for sale on the web site and the net proceeds will benefit the foundation. The woman at right is unidentified. (AP Photo/Kraft Foods, Ray Stubblebine) **NO SALES**
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: TV personality and designer Khloe Kardashian and Olympic-level swimmer and model Amanda Beard (R) pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Ultimo Scottish designer lingerie brand founder Michelle Mone (L) and pop singer Melanie Brown pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown poses backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown and Olympic-level swimmer and model Amanda Beard (R) pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown and singer Aubrey O'Day (R) poses backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown, Olympic-level swimmer and model Amanda Beard, singer Aubrey O'Day and TV personality and designer Khloe Kardashian pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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When my daughter came down, we told her, and she wasn't with his program." Harvey's daughter urged him to write a book. She said she had no idea she could ask the man she was dating what his plans were, and Harvey broke it all down. "A woman has a right to know what a man's plan is for her," Harvey said. "If the plan he has with you doesn't match up with the plan you have for yourself, you need to make some changes. Trust me, every man who meets you has a plan. Even that brother in church who comes up to you saying, 'Praise the Lord!' has a plan for you. You need to ask him what that plan is."
In his book, Harvey refers to his own real-life experiences, dropping science on everything from how to spot a mama's boy and what, if anything, you can do about it to how to introduce your kids to that new man in your life (and what your kids will tell you about him, which you should listen to). There are also five questions every woman should ask a man to determine how serious he is about her. But more important, Harvey translates for women what men say versus what they really mean.
"Men and women speak a different language," said Harvey. "I just help decode what men are saying so women can understand it."
'Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man' is an extension of a segment from the nationally syndicated 'Steve Harvey Morning Show' called 'Strawberry Letter,' in which Harvey and co-host Shirley Strawberry give advice to people who write in.
"Between 80 and 90 percent of the letters we get are from women and almost all have something to with a man," he said. "So in my book, I took all of the friendships I have with men -- actors, singers, rappers, TV producers, guys I used to work with in factory assembly lines, men that are CEOs and men that are cons (I have friends in every walk of life) -- and I talk about those experiences. Men, I don't care where they come from, pretty much think the same."
Written in the very frank, relatable, regular-guy style that we've come to know from one of the Original Kings of Comedy, this book is serious business. Publishers wanted something more comedy oriented, but Harvey demanded to write a book to help make a difference and improve people's lives. Happily married to wife Marjorie, Harvey has been committed over the last few years to living his best life. He dropped some pounds and has been working out and eating right.
He is even promoting a George Foreman grill called the Steve Harvey G-Broil (steveharveygrill.com). And with his many blessings, he feels he has to give back. Harvey starts everyday on his radio talking about God and ends it with an inspirational message. This book is an extension of his ministry.
"I wanted to write this book to empower women," said Harvey, who collaborated with writer Denene Milner. "It was very therapeutic for me."
2008 Deaths
Odetta Holmes
"The Voice of the Civil Rights Movement" was a singer, actress, guitarist, songwriter and activist.
December 31 1930 - December 2 2008.
Ray Tamarra , Getty
Bernie Mac
Comedian, Actor
Oct. 5, 1957 - Aug. 9, 2008.
AP
Isaac Hayes
Singer, songwriter, record producer, composer and actor.
August 20, 1942 - August 10, 2008
Reuters
Miriam Makeba, "Mama Africa"
South African folk singer and anti-apartheid activist.
March 4, 1932 - November 10, 2008.
Reuters
Jennifer Hudson's 57-year-old mother, Darnell Donerson, brother, Jason, and 7-year-old nephew, Julian King, were killed in 2008.
AP
Shakir Stewart
The Island Def Jam executive who became head of the legendary rap label following Jay-Z's departure, killed himself on Nov. 1. He was 34 years old.
Getty
George Carlin
Stand-up comedian, actor and author.
May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008
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Madelyn Dunham
Barack Obama's grandmother
October 26, 1922 - Nov 3, 2008.
Getty Images
Levi Stubbs
Oct. 17: The iconic lead singer, second from left, who gave voice to Four Tops classics like "Reach Out I'll Be There" and "Baby I Need Your Loving" died at 72 from complications of cancer and a stroke. Abdul Fakir, far left, is now the sole living member of the original quartet.
Corbis
Dee Dee Warwick
Oct. 18: The soul songstress died after months of declining health. Warwick, the sister of soul legend Dionne, also achieved a great deal of success, both as a solo artist as well as with her sister.
Corbis
Comments: (77)
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By: raychelle on 1/26/2009 11:07PM
I will definitely buy this book. I support anything that will help educate and empower women about the men in their lives.
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By: CHARLES on 1/27/2009 6:33AM
Thats all fine and dandy if the young lady wants the advice. I'm thinking if she has a plan she wont need a book in the first place. If Mr. Harvey is really serious he'd give this book away.The girls who need it wont buy it.sounds good on paper but if a young girl has a good father figure in the house hopefully she will get all the advice she'll need.
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By: Ms. Yvette on 4/19/2009 12:16AM
Why dont you write a book and give it away?
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By: SWD on 1/27/2009 7:11AM
This is a great way to reach those young ladies that seem to have a knack for choosing the wrong guys. So many women are missing their fathers and male roles models that they dont know what to look for. Times are a changing!!! what ever works.
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By: Airet on 1/27/2009 7:13AM
Let the redeemed of the Lord say so! Good for you Mr. Harvey, you are a new man.
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By: LUCKY CHARM on 1/27/2009 8:28AM
POSITIVE MESSAGE MR HARVEY! BUT WHAT ABOUT BE A MAN AND THINK LIKE ONE.GOOD LOOKING OUT FOR OUR DAUGTHERS. lol,MR.HARVEY
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By: aatimes on 1/27/2009 8:35AM
The first book title; Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man was copyrighted in 2003 by Sharon P. Carson. She says the title was God given and the inspiration in the book is a spiritual awakening and inspires women to practice tough love and self love. The book is still being promoted by the author inspite of Steve Harvey's new book of the same title and can be previewed free of charge at; www.actlikealadythinklikeaman.com
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By: aatimes on 1/27/2009 8:46AM
Watch on youtube as Sharon P. Carson talks about her book Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man, last year on cable television. Type in the book title on youtube for visit the link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxVVQX15X2Y
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By: Arshkosh on 1/27/2009 9:32AM
I agree that young ladies that have fathers or father figures in their lives will probably know the 411 but so many of our children are being raised by just their mother. And unfortunately it is a vicous cycle. Nobody probably told her and she made a bad choice and so her daughter may make the same mistake or maybe not the same mistake cuz that's the one her mother warned her about but one very similar. I think its a great idea for Steve to give the book out free, but for those that cant afford it but want it. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink it.
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By: monica on 3/29/2009 9:19PM
It doesn't matter if there is a male figure in the house, too many women have no idea what men really think and mean and, like Steve says, without having strong male friends or adults to confide in, they never get i.
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